Buxom babe (and free yarn!).

I may have mentioned, once or twice, that I a) regard myself as difficult to fit and b) have completed several sweaters that are fine, even nice, except they don't fit me.

I regard these as separate matters, but I can see they are related, in that standard patterns always need to be tweaked, and I am unsuccessful at the tweaking because I insufficiently understand my own body.

That is an, um, larger issue, actually, but we shall confine ourselves to the clothing-that-fits-aspect today.  It occurred to me, as I held up the unfortunate Rhinebeck Red Raglan and tried to decide how I had erred with the shaping, that it might be easier to figure out if I wasn't trying to hold it up and in place while staring into a mirror too close to me to get a proper view.

And I get a little snippy with myself when I try to pin things into me, just a quirk, you know.

So today, arriving from Britain via UPS, I give you Diana, who will clearly need a better name.

Ain't she purty?
She is wearing the unfortunate Rhinebeck raglan, and the general boxiness of the image indicates the problem with that.  I shaped the waist such that it bags out quite sharply about 2 inches, maybe more, all around right below the bust and shoulder blades, adding that delicious spare tire look we love so well.  So hott, the matronly sag.

This, on the other hand, is why I have reasonable optimism about Truffle, Darling.  Nice, huh? I'm half done with the front and now I can't wait to sew them up and see what it looks like.  Yay for renewed enthusiasm.

OK, this is going to sound really silly, but I never realized how tall I was - the reality of how tall, how much space I occupy, I mean - until just now when I was standing next to a dummy set to my own height and dimensions.

No wonder people always remember me.  Doh.

Why, you ask, would you order a dress form from the UK when you can get one at Joann's for considerably less, you ask  (quite reasonably)?

Well, because the standard US models have a maximum back extended length of 18".  Perhaps, someday, after I am stricken with osteoporosis, this will work for me, but not so much right now.  But Diana, Diana extends to 20 inches, bless her hollow plastic heart.

But I hate the name - so very Princess of Wales.

So I am initiating the first Enchanting Juno Contest:  Name the Dummy, pardon me, Dressmaker's Model.   
Goal: To be both apt and amusing. 
Reward:  Yarn, of course.  Silly.

Enter as often as you like. 

I'll go stash diving in a few days and see what might do well.

I stopped by the LYS in order to recover my tape measure today and admitted to them that I over ordered the Lion & Lamb for Clapotis.  I misremembered and ordered 6 skeins instead of 600 yards.  Oops.  The camouflage isn't in yet, but they let me take home three skeins of the pewter as a pre-exchange, and then I'll take three of the six camo when they arrive.

Gee darn.

Two clapotis.

Can I bear up, do you think?

drool.

Comments

[lucia]

I say Xaviera.

First: It's clear you want some hourglass shaping in your outfits. Hence, you need a capital X in the name to suggest the shapeliness of a woman's form.

Next: You want something sexy not matronly: Hence Xaviera after Xaviera "The Happy Hooker" Hollander.

If only you were crocheting instead of knitting, you could attach a hook to her and everyone could guess her name.

[lucia]

I say Xaviera.

First: It's clear you want some hourglass shaping in your outfits. Hence, you need a capital X in the name to suggest the shapeliness of a woman's form.

Next: You want something sexy not matronly: Hence Xaviera after Xaviera "The Happy Hooker" Hollander.

If only you were crocheting instead of knitting, you could attach a hook to her and everyone could guess her name.

[La]

Hmmmm, this isn't easy. Since the dummy is headless, I vote for Marie or Antoinette or Marie Antoinette....

[Rabbitch]

Oh fine, you don't like Cleopatra? Feh. Well, it has to be something regal, queenly, and such.

It doesn't have a head. I'm thinkin' Anne Boleyn. Either that or Ichabod.

[MJ]

I think Lola or Marguerite would be good. Something saucy!

Two Clapotis? How about a Kiri from Polly (All-Tangled Up)? It's a simplified version of the Birch shawl. Your yarn is drool-alicious!

[Natalie]

I need one of those. But I wonder if they make them even close to my own dimensions (small waist, big hips & huge boobs). If they do, I'm sure it's way out of my price range.

Due to her color, I think she shall be named "Magenta." Of course, that could just be because I've been watching too many episodes of "Blue's Clues" with Emily.

[Rabbitch]

Obviously, "Cleopatra, Queen of Denial".

*running away very quickly*