The tiniest sweater in all the land.

So I was (gently) mocking a friend the other day for failure to launch on a very fine gauge project.

She very properly told me to fuck off, she hadn't been able to get gauge on 0000 needles, and that was that.

Because I mock with love, I start thinking maybe I could get her some 00000 s.  Where have I seen those?  So I called Too Much Wool, my girl with dpn knowledge as wide and deep as the sea.

During this conversation, a  memory stirred.

A disturbing memory. 

That would be a sleeveless turtleneck sweater in a wool/rayon blend....knit on 0000 needles.  It is 45 stitches wide, maybe 12 or 13 stitches to the inch.   I can't believe I could even FIND it.

All along I've been saying I hadn't knit since high school when I picked it up again 2 years ago seriously.  And that is true...but for this one odd little aberration in 2000, when I stumbled across a website selling fashion doll sweater kits and decided to give it a try.

I sat in the incredibly bad light of my mother's living room one weekend and out of the depths of my insanity I made this little thing.  Which is now my oldest unfinished object.  I'm not a well woman.

Of course when I look at it now, I don't see the crazy....I see that the knitting is shitty.   I have decided to cut myself some slack - in theory - because if the first thing you knit after a 14 year break from the sport is 12 stitches to the inch, on 0000 needles, knit in bad light, well.....what can you inspect?

TMW is disturbed that I knew enough about this to summon the Great God Google to me and come up with the site in 2 seconds.  She wants nothing to do with such foolishness.

But I keep sending her pictures.

I think I might have started to wear her down with this:

There are tiny matching Fair Isle socks.  I swear to god.

See it all and Much Much More at www.scottymaloney.com.

I need hardly tell you that I've already ordered a tiny Norwegian sweater kit, do I?  It would totally make sense to have my first two color knitting be scaled for an 18 inch doll, right?

Oh, yes, they do stock 00000 needles.....that was the question, right?

Comments

[Donna]

I re-learned to knit 2 years ago...it had been since I was 6 that I had not knit, and back then, I could knit a square. I decided to take my love of dolls into the knitting and, figuring if I could knit a perfect little garment in scale, I could tackle something in human scale. I've worked my skills and gotten pretty good at this doll-clothes making and have even changed a few patterns better to my liking. Since knitting takes a long time to complete (my opinion, of course, especially compared to crocheting), I get a lot of satisfaction in completing a complete doll garment/outfit in a short amount of time. I'm working up to a sweater for my daughter tho...and hoping I have the patience to complete the project when I begin...lest I have several going at one time, which will probably be the case. Anyhow, none of you are bonkers for trying the miniature knits, and you'll find a wealth of supplies online...google away.

[caroline wong]

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[Bronwyn]

Wow, I'm glad I gound this post- I have a big thing for fashion dolls and this has definitely inspired me to try to do something. Thanks.

[Jayne]

OK - put me out of my misery PLEASE! I have searched the entire site and can't find the pattern for the socks. Personally, I HATE Barbie. However, my daughter has one and the thought of knitting those sweaters is just so enticing.

[Juls]

omg!!! I'm stunned by that itsy bitsy-ness. I think I would be tempted to knit Barbie legwarmer if they had the kit...

[V]

Wow....and I even have a seven year old for an excuse!

[Em]

Is it me, or does one of those dolls look exactly like Jackie O?

[Gina]

LOL! I love it all, particularly the matching socks.

[Yvonne]

Wow. I think I'd rather have a root canal. But you go, Girl!

[hillary]

OMG! I've never been here before and Oh what a day to pick. Thank God my daughters got over Barbie long, long ago... but wait, ooops, I'm not over her yet. I'm not sure that my tired old eyes can handle this.

[Laurie]

What Claudia said. This is one of the best weird-uses-of-knitting in a long time. Whew. I'm glad I'm not THAT obsessed.

I work where the plastics guys use suture materials that are thinner than eyelashes, and they need microscopes to place the stitches. I'm not about to go there in real life. (And yes, the eyes do betray one after a time.)

[valentina]

OMG! OMG! OMG! I just changed my position on Ivana having a Barbie! Or maybe on me having a Barbie!

[Brandi]

I know this very crafty lady, who had this very tiny doll, maybe about 2-3 inches tall. She wanted to clothe it in something different so she used SEWING NEEDLES and thread to knit an outfit for it. There's another option for you. Good luck.

[Lene]

Thank you for your post! Guess where I'm heading right now... And I bet this is the last chance I get, my eyesight is not getting any better by day, so don't want to waste another minute.

[kimberly]

Oh my-I need to make some of these sweaters!! The challenge is just too tempting for me to resist. Now to find the yarn and needles for it.

[Helen]

La .. la .. la ..
nee nee nee nee nee
I can't HEAR you nee nee nee..

I will not succumb to this folly
nee nee nee...

And meowgirl... I didn't see that link for 8-0 needles either

nee nee nee nee

[zee]

Incredible and insane.
Are you trying to scare me out of knitting??

[Riin]

Um...maybe it would be easier on the eyes and hands if you knit it normal sized and then zapped the shrink ray at it? Oh, wait...

[melissa]

You know... I got attacked by the same virus (it was a virus, right?) to buy a kit for a teeny-tiny sweater. I recovered before starting it, though :-)

[Jenn]

I so totally need to make those socks. I have no dolls for them to go on, but I would love to have them hanging on my cube wall.

[Lene]

Oh, dear. I foresee another craze sweeping knitbloggerland.

I'm abstaining, though.

[Julie]

I know I've mentioned this before, but my mother used to knit outfits for herself - some day I hope to get a photo of one to show everyone - and she would always make a matching outfit for my Barbie, on tiny little pins, which I now own. I think they are 00000. I can't measure them - they are too skinny.

[heather]

"teeny tiny steeks." snort.

[Kathy]

Oh, wait! You NEED to knit these up:
http://www.scottymaloney.com/Poolside.html

[Kathy]

You are completely, hopelessly insane.

(is sorely tempted to buy 00000 needles now)