wind effect. yeah. that's it.

You ever get that feeling that no matter how old and theoretically wise you get, you still will always get certain things wrong?  That your timing will be off, your perceptions clouded and the wrong foot always out first?

I just discovered my shirt was on backwards.  That about covers it. 

I had this vivid dream about an ex last night - this extremely vivid, conversational dream that felt so real I was surprised when I woke up and he wasn't there.  I can't remember what we spoke of, just the part where I realized that he'd played some kind of trick on me and I hit him hard, and he laughed because he knew he deserved it.  I think I woke up sad because it wasn't true.  I miss talking to him.

And I tried to IM another ex last night - which I shouldn't have done at-all, we are so past anything useful. Which he confirmed by logging off rather than replying which was slippery and avoidant...but you know, not out of character.  And the other thing I realized this morning is that today is a weird anniversary for me relating to this guy and no doubt that was what was behind it all. 

And I emailed another guy, someone with whom I'm trying to get together but with whom I suspect I have missed the window and that just annoys me because when will I learn how important timing is? You don't get to be Special Naked Friends with someone via blundering harassment.   

We had snow yesterday, but before that several days of this weird sideways wind that did something to my body chemistry, made me edgy and jumpy, ionized.  This used to happen to me in southern California when the Santa Ana's blew.  The ex I dreamed of told me once that in the "International Classification of Diseases.....there's a whole section for diseases that have been poorly reported or investigated by Modernmedicinestealerofhope. Several of them, particularly from Tibet, China and into the Indonesian archipelago are psychoses, often ending in severe symptoms and causing people to withdraw from all interaction or to commit violent crimes, which the people concerned and their communities regard as being caused by the wind. Not, of course, that I'm saying you got out of LA just in time before you exercised your right to bear arms, just that as you say, the wind has strong effects on minds".

Which makes me laugh and reminds me why I liked him so.  But if the wind makes me crazy, I guess I can be grateful all I do is give a pointed toe boot to sexual relationships past and present and future, instead of something larger scale and messy for others too.

Oddly, I'm actually in a reasonably energetic mood.  As a commenter noted last week, January - which I my case seems to have lasted from Thanksgiving until the end of February - is finally over.  Paperwork calls, my darlings, paperwork calls.  Back to work.

Wool things soon.

Comments

[dharma]

Your first sentence or so? Totally!

[Diane]

The wind unsettled me a bit the other day also. I figured, great, I'll go to the gym and work it off. No such luck. It was snowing so hard that we were having white-out conditions. Not a good day to go out, so I sat and spun for a bit.

[Amy N Texas]

WOW. I thought it was just a weird thing in my family. When I was a teenager I thought my mom was nuts because she was scared and nervous of the wind. So naturally now that I'm older I'm the same way. Not scared...but it makes me NUTS. A few weekends ago we had 65mph gusts and I had the tv on, washer, dryer, and headphones on with music just so I couldn't hear it!

[k sallyjo]

The wind makes you remember what you used to be.

[loribird]

Perhaps that is it... I found myself in contact with a long-lost ex as well this past week; the weird weather, the wind, the moon?

[Judith in NYC]

I didn't go to therapy today because I was too mad--maybe I will print this post and give it to my therapist. It's the wind, that's it and just leave me alone!

[Cara]

The weather always makes me crazy.

[Carrie]

I had an ex once who summed it up this way, "Wind makes me mad." We all laughed at him at the time, but he was serious, and I find myself remembering it on a particularly windy day. It really is deeply annoying, and if you're having a bad day to begin with, well...
(For some reason, with that guy, wind at night was a zillion times worse. He'd feel a breeze and shout, "NO WIND AT NIGHT!" (He wasn't nearly as weird as that little vignette would imply.)

[lanea]

See, I dream of dogcatchers . . . and adopting dogs . . . . holy crap, I am officially a boring married lady. Crap. I'm going to see a film of nothing but oiled, hot, muscular men (300) to make up for it.

[Alison]

Wind effects are known in Europe, too! One of the most famous is the Mistral (http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/features/understanding/wind_mistral.shtml), which has also been blamed for psychotic episodes and murders. Fun!

[Ruth]

That's why I've been crazy for the last few days - the wind! It's an awfully unsettled time of year, isn't it? Perhaps the perfect "still air" relationship is just around the corner.