hoist.

On Sunday I did a very American thing: I went to the mall.  For the second time in three days.

It happened like this:  I thought I might like a new T-shirt, so Friday at lunch time I nipped into Old Navy.  A dangerous place at the best of times - look, cheap cute shirts! - they were having a monstrous sale and since I was on a 20 minute limit I threw a load of things onto the counter and went home 187 dollars the worse for the adventure. 

And then at the end of the day I pulled all of it out and thought "Self, you do not need 187 dollars worth of things you didn't have time to try on in the store.  And I went through it all and added, "Self, what were you thinking HERE?" to my mental conversation and sorted it all down to two arguably useful light cotton summer shirts and a really, really cute sundress, because it was adorable, and really I am susceptible to cute summer dress fantasies, I am.  And then I loaded the remaining things back into the shopping bag and put it by the front door and on Sunday afternoon I put it in the car and drove to the mall.

Which is how I came to be thinking about how American the Mall is as a weekend activity.

Net loss of 68 dollars. 

As I was pocketing my debit receipt there came upon me a moment of truth that what I was looking for when I gave into the initial impulse was not a new t-shirt - because I have 12 million t-shirts - but for my existing t-shirts to look better.  Aimless shopping is a manifestation of dissatisfaction, you understand, the trick is to identify the root cause. 
Result: a quick hop over to Kohl's and, for less than my Old Navy return, 5 new bras.  Not interesting bras you understand - I have lots of them, they stay looking great because they only get worn under the three things that demand that particular structural undergarment or neckline, but boring everyday light colored ones that are plain and unpretty and hold everything up very nicely so that my old shirts look great.

As is the way of bras, two will be worn only twice before some quirk of structure makes me reject them with instinctive revulsion when they are the only thing left at the bottom of the drawer of a morning.  They will stay there until the moment two summers from now when they are all that is left and this same scenario plays itself out all over again.

One will be perfect but fall apart immediately.

And two will be perfectly fine and last until they are old and gray and cause a vague unhappiness when I look at myself wearing them under a t shirt.

Same dollars - a few fewer actually.  Very different outcome.  Still a consumer outcome, you understand, which is a separate concern, but purposeful rather than purposeless.  I regard it as an improvement.

(I am aware that spending this much time thinking about, shopping for and discussing the support of my secondary sex traits in order to be attractive - however I define that - has several layers of - is it irony?  Whatever.  I am a tool of the Patriarchy.  No matter how I fight.)

Did some knitting this weekend - visited the Subversive Lace exhibit Saturday which meant 3 hours of train time, which meant a new project.    Kind of an overall meh reaction - not to the knitting, to the museum.  I'm glad I went, I'm very glad that textiles of this nature have been given a serious exhibition and granted some ground in the vernacular of contemporary art.  I wish that the overall content had been higher quality I guess. There were some extraordinary things - a shetland blanket with a knit/purl pattern spelling out "it sucks", a perforated car that left patterns of dirt lace on the floor, a dress bound in I-cord veins.  A set of hand cut panels of muslin coated with gesso and graphite were visually stunning and had a weird organic sense of growth and motion about them.  A couple of three-dimensional pieces that kind of invited you inside them - one felty/cellulose/fiber one with letters that I wished passionately had had text instead, and one that was a tangle of wires and made me think of Dr. Who.  A knitted lead teddy bear that had this marvelous sagging heft to him.   Clothing knit from shredded Financial Times - which actually had some edge as social commentary.

But there were a few things, a few too many, that made me think of middle school art class too.  Leading to some further ruminations on art and craft and where the intersection lies. Or more correctly where one leads into the other..or fails too.  Though.... I used to go to museums and just accept that what I was looking at was art, and perhaps because I have some stake of my own in the textile arts, this was the first time I can remember just staying - uh uh, nope, not buying it. 

But all in all, the MOMA store was more entertainment, plus more Muji recycled cotton socks, always a good thing.  More consumerism I am afraid.  And someone else's Muji sock pictures, as I am too lazy to go upstairs and get them. 

Cast on Candace Eisner Strick's Adagio shawl on the way to New York, to the astonishment of the man across the aisle who kept talking to me despite my earphones, about how I should look into the internet as a means of selling my knitting.  No amount of telling him I had no desire to sell my knitting, or ignoring him, had any influence on his discourse.

Yarn - 100% silk hand-dyed by Judy.  Three minutes later I pulled it out because I misunderstood what CES meant by crochet chain cast on, and in the silk didn't want to deal with sewing down the live stitches.    Is it too, too, TOO that I was sitting on the filthy floor of Penn Station - surely one of the more disgusting places in North America - photographing my error for the blog? 

Note to self - when finished blogging, go put those jeans in the wash.

Fantastically easy to memorize pattern, much more progress on the way home.  I do love me some orange.  Judy does nice work with color, yes?

Now, I must vacuum.  Pray excuse me.

Comments

[simvastatin lipitor]

People should be allowed to go naked in certain recreational areas only - Or specify those areas and you have another persuasive speech topic

[kate]

It's all about the wacoal bras. I just got 2. I only had 2 boobs. Not 4, not 6. Lovely. And they moved up a few inches from their usual resting spots in my old bra.

[mary lou]

The American link - the mall, consumerism, and the guy on the train. It's very interesting to me that people seem to think that the desired end result of any activity worth the time to undertake it should be mercantile. When someone looks at a finished garment and says, "hey you could sell that"-- it is supposed to be a real compliment. Then we get to watch their expression when we tell them how many hours went into the object and how much the yarn cost!

[Liz (the crazed weasel)]

oh, wow; lurker, but - the bras. Oh, the bras. Why oh why is it so fucking difficult to make bras - that are intended to fit the Actual Bodies of Actual Women, no? n'est pas? am I missing something, here?? I'll try the shop in London S. mentions up thread as I am indeed desperate, have only two bras that fit decently really despite trying oh so hard at Victoria's to get Some Damn thing...argh.

Perimenopause reduced my cup size from c/d to like, a/b. I can actually wear a camisole with an elastic sort of shelf thing, now, in lieu of bra. Also I can move my arms to new positions they have not seen since I was around 13. This is truly amazing for me. But now and then, I actually do need a bra that isn't a sports bra or a cami-avec-shelf, and I have two ancient ones that sort of fit and two that really don't. And I finally tossed out the nursing bras.

Ahem. Hi.

[Kim]

Your shawl is looking great! I have that same colorway to make that same shawl......sometime soon I hope :-)

[Steph]

I think you captured ambivalent consumerism perfectly.

Shawl looks lovely. Orange shawls are yummy.

[Marlene]

Of course if you find the perfect bra (or the perfect shade of lipstick) it will be discontinued before you can get around to purchasing them by the bushelful.

[Phil Boncer]

julia fc wrote: Who is this Phil guy?

I found this site from the Yarn Harlot. My wife has long been interested in fiber arts and does crochet and knitting and spinning and dyeing and weaving and felting and etc. She has her own hand-dyed yarn company.

I've started to get interested as well, and have done a little bit of tapestry and knotted pile rug weaving. I'm working with her on knitting pattern design, and will be learning to knit shortly.

I am also philosophically interested in lots of things, and enjoy a bit of discussion.

PhilB

[Jessica]

The new shawl is beautiful so far! Love the color intensity. I've run into many a person like the one you talked about on my daily commutes. Those people tend to come out more on the weekends though. I've read several blogs that had the same reaction to the lace exhibit that you did too.

[lanea]

What is with those people who are convinced that we all only work and craft for money, that our financial choices are their business, and that "no" isn't enough of an answer? Sheesh.
lovely, lovely yarn, there. I can't wait to see how the shawl progresses.

[julia fc]

Who is this Phil guy?
Meanwhile, I agree almost entirely with your evaluation of the show. I did think, were I to have any curatorial say, that they missed out on a few treasures of the art world, like Katherine Cobey (why was there nothing by her included? ::Outrage::), Annette Messenger's bird sweaters, and much of the other work of Lisa Ann Auerbach.

[Kris]

It would be interesting to see the exhibit and if we were still in NYC, I would probably do so, but the commute from Milwaukee is a bit much.

It is amazing to me what a well fitting bra will do for you. It isn't just an issue of appearance. It will prevent sagging (and the tearing of the tissues that it implies) and can help with back and neck aches to have your breasts properly supported.

And the orange - to die for!

[Phil Boncer]

I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with being a "consumer". It is a fact of reality that we need some belongings just to survive, and many more to have lives that are safe and comfortable and healthy. If you consider what it is that you are consuming, and whether it is actually going to serve its intended purpose, there's nothing wrong with it. What's damaging is *mindless* consuming, where the item is not considered, and therefore is as likely as not to be wasteful. I agree that mindless consumerism is a huge problem in Western culture, but let's not throw out the baby with the bathwater.

And I think that wishing and working to be attractive is not (or at least need not be) inherently negatively connected to "patriarchy". We all want to be attactive, regardless of what sex we are, what orientation we have, or who holds power in our culture. Men also spend absurd amounts of effort to be attractive; that doesn't imply any "matriarchy" power imbalances.

Certain aspects of what is considered attractive certainly have negative and/or patriarchal connections. I think first about stupid and painful shoes, for example. But I think you can look at the aspects in question and say "this one is damaging and does not improve my life, and this one will make *me* happy and feel better", and choose accordingly. There is no real power in rejecting attractiveness as a concept. And of course, tastes vary even within a culture. Personally, I prefer a much more natural look, and have often had a bit of work to do to persuade women I've dated to lighten up on the makeup or get rid it altogether, and to quit shaving things that are best not shaved.

As for the exhibit, I generally find that for any exhibit there will be a lot of stuff that is, to me, not of much real merit. That's always the case, and always has been. In Rembrandt's time, it happened; but time is a filter, and it is only the best that endure. So when I go to a museum or an art show of new work, I consider it a success if I see one thing that connects to me, and a roaring success if there is more than one. And that's fine. Of course, the one thing that connects to me may be very different from the one that connects to you, and that's fine too.

I agree that it is great that a major museum has a fiber-related exhibit at all; that's progress. But it is also new, so another effect is that the museum personnel involved do not have nearly the knowledge base about fiber arts that they do about painting or traditional sculpture or even modern installation pieces. So they may not be as able to determine and select the best pieces for the exhibit, or to display them at their best, if they do not yet really understand the medium well.

PhilB

[claudia]

Lovely color, that.

[Risa]

Eeew the floor of Penn Station? Blech. The shawl is going to be gorgeous! I have a regular pest on the train who keeps telling me I should sell my knitting... and another one who is totally convinced that you can never make any money ever at knitting. They don't seem to be dissuaded by headphones in the least.

[Cordelia]

Um. I thought Too Much Wool was a dedicated blogger for photographing her Lopi sweater *on* in 80+ (F) heat, but...
Yeah. The floor of Penn station beats that hands down.
Ick. I kinda want to tell you to wash the jeans twice, but I'm obsessive that way.

[Adrienne]

I'm with you on the "meh." Parts were great, illuminating, new. Parts were not-so-much that. I am still in awe, however, of the lace paper cut-outs that great you on the 3rd floor.

Oddly enough, one of the women I went to the exhibit with also picked up a pair of those socks -- and now I'm just kicking myself that I didn't, too.

[Judy]

I made the Adagio shawl with Koigu, shading from light pink to burgundy, and every time I wear it people try to buy it off my back. Not for as much as I want for it, though! ;-) It's a great pattern.

Hmmm, maybe I need to make one in silk. Yum.

[Kate]

I'm knitting the same shawl, in the same silk (only purple)... how many skeins are you using? I have 3 and I am going to have to do some mental math to work out how much the crocheted edge will take.

:)Kate

[Sonya]

I agree with your Subversive Lace assessment. I was torn between appreciating that there even was a needlework exhibition and being a little underwhelmed. I wrote it off at the time as a reaction to the Finishing School of Rude Curatorial Staff that the little girl at the ticket counter had obviously graduated from magna cum laude with a degree in I Am Better Than You.

[Lee Ann]

For me, bra shopping equals instant migraine. I got extremely lucky in finding one (and only one) bra from Victoria's Secret that actually works as good as anything's ever going to work on me, and now I mail-order them. Went to Jacob here once, and La Senza as well (both lingerie stores), just to see if there was more than one bra in the world that would work. Three days and a helluva lot of Aleve later...bleahhhhh. I don't understand how you can have a professional measurer size up your boobs, and then have the fit on bras still vary so damned much. That crap about finding your real size as the key to the bra fitting well...Excuse me, but if the label has my size on it and I still feel like I should go down the street to the local police station to register my breasts, that ain't right.

I'm never sure if I love or hate the What Not To Wear terminology, "lock and load," but that's exactly what I want a bra to do. Madonna, I am not.

[jessie]

Don't apologize for the t-shirt/bra rant. We all go there. I only go to the mall about once a year (Christmas shopping), although I did go a couple of months ago for my daughter, and I came home with a great t-shirt for myself.

And even those of us with tiny boobs need good bras to go under our shirts.

(BTW, I now know 3 women who have had boob jobs. In Vermont, where everything is covered 9 months of the year. I thought this would never come to rural America. From what I can see, they no longer even need bras.)

[sarah]

I didn't realise it at the time, but my decision to buy a bra that fit properly started the journey on which I'm learning to be comfortable in my body. I went to Rigby and Peller in London because I knew they'd know what they were doing, and discovered that not one of the nice middle-aged ladies in the department stores had ever got it right. As in I am a 32F, not a 36D. The new bras look like civil engineering projects, but they made an incredible difference to my posture and shape.

[Webbo]

I don't suppose I'll get a chance to see the Subversive Lace exhibit, so thanks for the review. I'm a bit dubious about edgy crafting too. Sometimes I think the results can be extraordinary, but too often I feel that just the shock value of a "cosy" medium conbined with an outre subject is enough to garner interest, regardless of the actual value of the piece as craft or art.

[--Deb]

The shawl looks great . . . and, gosh, selling your knitting on the internet? What a fabulous idea! He sounds like he could have been so HELPFUL.... (grin)