Moore's Law.

I'm feeling enormously clever today.  Which is a signal of course that universe will show me the error of my thinking, but I'm enjoying the moment.

At work - a small business - we were forced by the planned obsolescence of software to upgrade our accounting software.  As is the nature of new software it is approximately 12 times more bloated than its 3 year old predecessor (I exaggerate. Slightly) (UPDATE.  I LIED.  It is 25X bigger.) which caused our computers - which are also approximately 3 years old (2?  Can't remember) to begin....to....run...... very.....ve...ry.....slow...ly.  (Imagine that movie, end-of-tape, slowed down hollow voice here, please). 

I refuse to replace the computers which are more than adequately large and powerful for anything we need to do if only the software people would stop growing their software so exponentially.  Though I admit that the changes are mostly good ones, including a correction to one or two things I have bitched about daily for 6 years.  So, well, OK.

Anyway -  my elderly desktops here turn out to have only 256 MB of RAM which was standard in the year of their birth - was it aught 4?  aught 5?  Whichever, the maximum at the time was only twice that, if I recall.  But the world has continued to turn, and computer memory with it, and now I can buy a one GB module to go in that extra slot.  For less than an extra 256 would have run then.  Some things DO get better with time.

So I ordered me some 1GB modules for each of the computers here, and an external hard drive to streamline the backup process and a new DVD drive for my desktop while I was at it - I've been using the CDROM drive from someone else's computer across the network for over a year.  Most inefficient.

So the boxes came and sat.  (I waited until three days before the accounting software was no longer supported by the manufacturer to upgrade that too.  I think it is human nature to be suspicious of change.  Or so I tell myself.)

Because it is intimidating for a humanities type such as I am to look inside the computer.  I have really always preferred to image a world of industrious hamsters living in there, not wires and electronics beyond my ken.

But still.  Slow computers.  Annoying. (Anyone who tells me to buy a MAC gets a smacking.)

So I opened on up and looked around.   No hamsters.  Extraordinary amounts of very fine lint, but no hamsters.   
I blew out the dust.
I examined the first 1 GB module. 
It seemed logically designed to fit into that slot...there.   
A little fiddling and it locked into place and rebooted smoothly and recognized its new memory.

That was easy.

So I did it again on my own terminal - ditto dust, hamsters, module, rebooting.

And then I unscrewed the CDROM drive and installed the replacement in about 3 minutes. 

And it works.

And I have to admit that this success is due far more to the folks at Microsoft and Dell who designed this thing that it is to my own cleverness - tempting though it is to abuse them, and I often do, this went well because of their long term planning, not anything I brought to the table.

But still.  When I look up a customer file now, it springs eagerly to my touch, instead of dragging its electronic feet for 5 minutes.  And I feel clever.   Amused at my own transparency.  But clever.

And this on top of switching my email server to a new domain registrar and coping with the planned inefficiency of Network Solutions - designed to thwart my move with inertia and obfuscation.  Which I also waited until three days before the renewal date to do. 

I'm thinking FDR.   

Comments

[Diane]

Atta girl!

[LauraJ]

Juno, dearest, I missed you at MA Sheep and Wool, but I am writing to ask, once again, if I have not ended up with the shopping-bag overage of the lovely orange roving from NH Sheep&Wool. Do you have any idea what I am talking about? We put it under one of Doug's tables. But I distinctly recall your spending the extra $$ and I really think this bag is yours. I just started the main bump and it is as Buttery as you said. Yum.

And I can't find your email address, so forgive me.

[Lene]

Congratulations! Now come do mine?

(I can beat the "bought RAM 5 months ago, still haven't gotten up the nerve to install it". Got a webcam when my niece and nephew were born - they live far from me and I wanted to see them weekly instead of every 2-3 months). Haven't installed it yet. They were 18 months this past Wednesday)

[Charli]

I am so jealous that you understand all this computer stuff. I'm not scared of it -- just completely ignorant to the point that I have no clue of what I don't know. :)

Enjoy your new speed!

[jill]

Congrats on the upgrades. Macs are evil - I promise you, evil, evil, evil.

[claudia]

No hamsters? That's so sad. ;-)

P.S. I was similarly proud of myself upon cracking open my first computer outer-shell.

[carrie]

I too hate change, and have accepted that about myself and work within that confine. I love reading your blog, because you say interesting things like "amused by my own transparency." I think I talk more cleverly during the day because of witty reading, yours included. =) Nice work on the upgrade. My husband is a computer guy, and he gives you a thumbs up. Microsoft can't take all the credit.

[Laurie]

Ah, the innocence of ignorance. I remember the day Mr. Etherknitter plugged something in (a memory chip?) and he evidently plugged it in blackwards. A puff of smoke, a bit of flame (only a wee bit), and there, alas, was $350 worth of replacement parts winging their way to us the next day.

They are opaque to me. Totally.

[anne]

i admire that . . . i will get into a skirmish with almost ANYTHING but the computer. i like to figure out how things work and fix them. but i'm afraid the computer innards would grab all my fascination and hold me captive for who knows how long . . . as it sometimes does topside. i already get lost for hours with computer stuff if i let myself.

better to leave it to an expert who has a cool, detached attitude about these things and is able to walk away . . .

(oh yeah, and plus, i "fixed" the fax machine good one time, in a fit of rage when it wouldn't do what i wanted. eh, maybe i should not ply my "skills" on the $5,000 computer . . .)

[Danielle]

Please someone tell me I don't need to worry about that whole demagnetizing/grounding/spark thing so I can install the new RAM on my Mac laptop... the RAM I bought five months ago.

[Cassie]

Way clever dude.

[Judy G]

I got the same warm fuzzy glow when I set up my blog. I don't care how or why technology works, I just want it to work. Our first computer was a 286 (whatever the hell that means) and the whole setup including dot matrix printer cost us about $2500.00 Canadian. I'm older than you are...Now when we need computer stuff fixed, we have to wait for our son to come home from working in the Caribbean. I keep track of what's pissing me off so he has a to-do list when he gets here. No wonder he doesn't come home very often.

[Cal]

Nonononono!!! It's not hamsters, it's electro-pixies that make everything work.
The reason computers slow down is that the breeding colony inside gets too big and overcrowded, so you have to take bits off to let some of them out. Trouble is, sometimes the wrong ones escape, which leaves the teenagers in charge - hence everything working worse than before. The only hope is to unscrew it all again, leave it on the floor overnight and hope that the colony rearranges itself by the next morning. Honest!

[Janine]

well done you :-)
I remember the first time I saw the inside of a PC - 6 years ago. I'm now a qualified IT tech and it still gives me a thrill when I put one together and it actually works! :-)

[Chris]

You technological goddess, you! I love it when things technological go much better than expected. :)

[Ken]

See? This is what happens when amateurs muck about with their computers. They *tell* people all about how easy it is, which it totally is, of course (hello, can you say "modular"?), and the next thing you know everyone is blithely performing their own upgrades and the professionals are out of work. Which maybe they should be, but is that really for you to decide?

It's like junk food for thought... heh

I'm currently similarly all pumped after upgrading the wireless card installed deep within my MacBook. This is a completely unauthorized thing to do, and I've apparently voided my warranty by doing so, which makes it all doubly exciting. Many teeny-tiny screws of varying length had to be removed and tracked so as to put them back in the correct place later. This is more difficult than you might think, but its importance was stressed when I read about one set of screws, "Notice that the one in the middle is the shortest! If you mix it up when screwing it back together, you will hit the motherboard!!" Then after I put all the right screws back in the right places the networking was all boffed. Back apart again and back together again three times before I finally did some more reading and discovered that I had a software config issue, not a hardware issue. Live and learn and learn and learn... :)

[Kim U]

Well, I am a Mac person and think Macs are generally a solution to the world's computing problems BUT I did just have to add a bunch o' RAM to both my laptop and DH's desktop because things were just s-l-o-w-i-n-g d-o-w-n every time I upgraded bits o' software. So it's not like Macs are immune to slowdowns caused by overly enthusiastic software upgrades either :)

[cari]

yes, but see...the Mac hamsters wear much cooler outfits.

(I love my Mac but if you don't want one, that's just fine with me.)

[Wanda]

yay for you! I'm impressed. I hate fooling around with hardware, but impressed by your fortitude.

[lyssa]

great job!
congrats!

i think that satisfaction and experience should last with you for quite some time. :)

[Jennie]

Why would anyone tell you the solution to this problem is a Mac? They're great computers, but they get slow with bloated software like any other computer. More memory, more disk space, replace everything every few years; it's the way it is.

btw, I'm a Mac lover. But they're not for everyone.

[lanea]

Smartypants.

[Lee Ann]

My comp has been mucked with so much by the mister that it's now impossible to just slide one thing in to replace another. I have a Rubik's cube of little green things and wires in there...and if the Gigabyte Guru swears and cuts himself and takes a day to put anything in there, then I'm sure as hell not going to try it.

I do, however, revel in the fact that a USB key now lives in my lipstick holder. :-)

[Rachel H]

Excellently clever, my dear. And I'm with you and Dr. Steph on the Mac smack. Right there with you.

[becky c.]

Moments of triumph with computers are so few and far between - I say revel in it!!