Where was I?

I've been suffering a serious deficit recently and I didn't even really know it:  what with one thing and another I hadn't seen my brother and his family since Thanksgiving, which is totally lame.  But we had a nice talk a week or so ago and he said, seriously, always welcome.  Drive up whenever.

So I did.

And despite the fact that sometimes when I look at them being a family together I think I might die of loneliness, I had a great time.  I think I am realizing that feeling that way doesn't mean that something is wrong, just that I should keep searching.  If you never feel a bit empty, what's the motivation to do the work, move forward, evolve, create, grow, dig, think, feel? 

Science museum/water garden is a great combo.

Baseball, with natural field hazard in the form of a Labrador.

Auntie Juno has Fun with her camera.

Can you believe I MISSED HER FIRST BIRTHDAY!

A superstar already.

More fun with the camera at the science museum.  And just a tip, when you are overwhelmed by sadness unexpectedly in public, the Rube Goldberg device hanging on the wall is a totally Zen building thing to stare at until the feeling evolves. 

And you know, if I happened to make the trip the weekend of Vermont Sheep & Wool, that was totally a coincidence, yes?  Anyway, I didn't buy anything (though I did pick my Merlin Tree wheel up from Dave).

I know, what's the world coming to? But I didn't.  I saw lots of good people for 11 seconds each, and I did all the things with my brother's kids I don't usually make time for.  Feeding goats and talking to breeders and petting sheep and watching the border collies work and sitting in the sun eating fair food while the toddler plays in the  grass.  A new experience.  It was good.

Comments

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[Mattie Lindsey]

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[Diane]

See, getting yourself out, doing things you like, is good. Who knows, more could come of it?

[seizuresalad]

I'm with Spinning Fishwife. The grass-is-greener mentality is the bane of my existance. I spent all of my twenties with short exceptions, and most of my 30s single and often feeling lonely or jealous of my nesting friends. I now have a wonderful partner but I fantasize daily about living on my own again. I would truly love there to be a city of women, and a city of men - visits could happen for as long as you like, but then back to normal! Sigh - my personal fantasy utopia.

Your niece looks seriously precious!

[Laurie]

One fills with what one has. And futures are wonderful things.

[claudia]

Life as a work in progress?

[lanea]

Momentarily distracted because someone named Bevin commented above, but it's not my Bevin and I thought she was the only one . . .
That loneliness that is not an ending of hope, but a reminder of hope and a real desire to bring something into your life--I think it's one of the most important, valuable things I can ever feel. Without that reminder from my soul, I don't know if I'd have what I do now. That isn't quite how I mean to say it, but, right.

Adorable children and dog. Adorable.

[Lizbon]

I love that point you made about feeling empty not necessarily being a bad, "your-life-is-goin'-down-the-toilet" kind of indicator. I hadn't really thought about it as a motivational tool before, and whether or not that will actually help me during the times when I get that feeling (like, oh half an hour ago), it is a least a good option to have. I mean, you know, as something to tell oneself when that wave of ick comes to call.

[Bevin]

Juno you are a recent discovery via Ravelry. I find your knitting beautiful, your stash droolworthy and your blog sensational!

xoxoxo,

Bevin

[Marin]

Good for you!

And watching border collies... one of my favourite things.

[donna lee]

Loneliness is one of those feelings that hits without warning. Recognizing it for what it is, a feeling and not a way of life helps. You seem to have a good handle on that. That niece sure looks sassy with those hands on her hips! I would want to be her girlfriend. She is going to be a handful!

[Shannon]

I love the picture of the wee one w/ her hands on her hips!! Such spunk already!

[Kate]

I love the pic of that delicious little moppet sitting between the two big planters. That straight little back is cute enough to give you cramps!

[Anne]

Goaties are my fave.

I am so with you on the loneliness thing. It might be easier if I believed in fate.

[Lee Ann]

I would give the earth to repeat the moment you literally ran down the aisle toward me with a Québec production wheel on your shoulder. Only this time, I'd be pointing a camera. Man, what a moment that was. Beautiful :-)

[JoVE]

If you have a brother you can take to a sheep and wool festival, you should definitely see more of him. (And spending more time with the niece might make you less lonely.)

[Spinning Fishwife]

Folk can be just as lonely within a marriage with half a dozen kids, you know, except with less time to themselves to think about it. Though I wouldn't swap my kids for anything (you can have my Hubbby any weekend you like) I still envy my single friends the complete control they have over their time, their doings and the fact that they have time for themselves, full stop.

Grass is always greener on the other side....maybe.

Family is good, though, especially in the form of cute little nieces.

[Wanda]

Your niece and nephew are such cuties. It was good to get out and visit with your brother and family. It's ok to have those feelings of loneliness, as you say, it makes you continue to look. Those feelings are uncomfortable, but that's ok too.

[Carrie]

Those kids are positively angelic. Hanging out with kids and just following them around to see what they do is excellent fun, when I can make my head get out of my To Do list and pay attention.

[Mary Lou]

wonderful pictures of kid fun - I don't have children either and must say that neices and nephews by blood or choice are a great part of my life. Now that some are adults (range 32 to 6 -- a big family) it's fun to have a new type of relationship with them. One of my nephews, whose mother kept him at a distance from our family, reminds me of things I sent him when he was a kid that made him feel really cool and special. Things I can't even remember. So cool Auntie Juno can have more influence than she knows. And those kid hugs are the best!

[Cassie]

OMG, the little people! Too adorable. You'd better get yourself back up there soon, Auntie Juno. They're too cute to miss out on.

[June]

It's good to be an Aunty.

I didn't grow up around any non-immediate relatives, but I have a soft spot for all of my aunties and uncles because they remembered my birthday, wrote me letters, and so on. It was nice to know they care.

[elaine]

holy moly. you were in my town! i could throw a rock from my house to that museum. well, maybe it would take a few throws, but it is very close!

[Luise]

Your wkend sounds truly heartwarming. As someone sans children and for quite some time widowed, I just want to share my strong personal bias toward nieces and nephews (mine range from 37 to 9) as a source of joy. Be as much a part of their life as you can (and as your brother allows); phone calls, pictures, can compensate for distance. You needn't be profound; just be there. As someone pointed out, babysitters come and go, but I'll always be there for them. At 65, I'm still learning.

[Jill]

Hey, glad you are back!! I've been a lurker for a while. It's funny how you get used to updates from someone you don't really know, and can wonder where they are and if they're o.k., when you've never even met. :) Looks like you had a wonderful time...how fun!