Assorted nonsense.

Even though I don't actually believe that the planets determine our paths, I have trouble resisting a horoscope.  There's something so appealing about a fortune cookie solution, a one-line equation for understanding, an answer of any kind.  A simple one. 
The other day I followed a link to this: 
“If Aries likes you, they will be direct (indeed, very direct) about it. If they don’t like you, they’ll be direct about that, too… Aries don’t take the time to reflect on the “rightness” of something – they feel it instinctively…or they do not.”

This is so me I can not even begin to tell you. 

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I've been having this thing recently where I am feeling kind of raw and open.  Moved by something.  It took me a long time to understand that it was happiness.  Not as bubbling as joy, but far more pervasive.  Turns out I have no frame of reference for a feeling this strong that isn't sad.  I find this kind of weird (but encouraging too).   38 years old and still a whole lot to learn.

I hardly know what to do with the time this has freed up though.  New hobby?  Get my bike out of the basement?  Knit more?   (It will pass, I know.  Emotions are by their very nature mobile.  Like a lava lamp.)

image from here

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I found out yesterday that I will be seeing an old friend at the end of the month.  He's from the UK and its been close to two years since we were in the same room, though we email steadily.
I've been trying to get him into bed for years - see Aries comma persistent - and yesterday we had a long talk about why that's not going to happen.  It was one of the truest conversations I've ever had and it was fantastic.
Honesty is so underrated.  Because with this unresolved question removed, all I am left with is a joyful feeling of anticipation and pleasure at the thought of his company.
I find it odd and sad and funny how I still can confuse myself about what I really want from people, about what my feelings mean.
I have learned so much from my friends - I am so lucky this way - and I hope they have learned a tiny bit of something from me.  That would make me happy.  Happier.

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I can now do short row shaping more or less without fear or anguish.  Wraps are idiotic though.  I did Yarn Over short rows this time and they are much neater, though not perfect.  Practice, practice, practice.  But seriously - for sweater fronts?  Forget the wraps and google other short row techniques.

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I Simpsonized myself last night - despite the surrender to the Burger King promotion machine this entailed - and I am finding the likeness oddly....accurate.  It's compelling.  Like getting a glimpse of how someone else sees you, as opposed to how you see yourself.  Had a couple of these moments recently and it is really perspective shifting.  (Also, it is a remarkable piece of software.  Completely useless and yet...)

Left it on the computer at home last night - will add it later for your edification and amusement.

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Typepad is only emailing me about 2/3 of my comments.  This has been going on for a few weeks and it is driving me crazy.  CRAZY.   They've finally stopped telling me the spam filter ate them and gone off to look for a bug (free translation of tech support response), but so far no progress. 

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It is very "I" "I" "I" here today.

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Must go process invoices.  Bon chance.

Comments

[Lizbon]

Oh and C) I have come to realize this year that I am happy, too. And it is glorious. First it was a bit unfamiliar, then it just got to be FUN.

[Lizbon]

A) For the record, I am NOT an Aries.
B) Really cool post, all the bits and pieces of it.

[seizuresalad]

OK, commenting again to say - what's with all the damned Aries' reading this blog?? ;)

[Michelle]

Ok, I have always lived that instinctual part of the Aries thing, but the first part is still a little touch and go. Well, with people, anyway. I can be very direct about liking or not liking an object or idea, but I find it can disrupt my normally diplomatic nature if I let myself be obvious that I dislike someone.

But honestly, I mean to be perfectly honest? I don't know how other signs cope with NOT being Aries.

[kmkat]

I've noticed that thing with Typepad, too, but it was only the occasional comment that didn't get through.

[KarenJoSeattle]

Thank you for confirming that TypePad has stopped blaiming something they couldn't confirm and wasn't their fault to blame this on. Unfortunately for me, it's more like 2/3s of my comments that aren't reaching me.

Oh, and good going on the growing up stuff, too. Don't expect it to ever really stop, though. Slow down, yes, but few of us are so simple as to quit learning new things about ourselves.

[Melanie]

I'm an Aries, my husband is an Aries; it makes things awfully straightforward. One side effect of all this congenital bluntness is that we're both basically allergic to passive-agressive people.

I always found, after I'd done the emotional equivalent of heavy lifting, rearranging the furniture, and other major home improvements, that I felt happy but had a heightened sensitivity to everything around me--as if all my nerve endings were exposed but in a good way. Sounds similar to your current state. Good for you.

[Laurie]

My Simpson character was oddly like me too. I enjoy the fact that this "outside perspective" isn't as grotesque as I'm always afraid it will be.

I like seizuresalad's description. I find myself oddly happy right now too. I just hit 40 and the only questioning I find myself doing is why I'm so satisfied and fulfilled. Where is the crises? I'm delighted with what I have and who I have in my life. Hmm. Odd. I guess they just don't parade us around much. Agony sells more copies and commercials?

[Adrienne]

Holy cow. That description of Aries is just so very, very me. Just ... wow.

And, yeah, I'm with ya on the Simponized thing too. Mine looks frighteningly like me.

[margene]

Perhaps my Pisces sign has moved forward into Aries territory. The feeling of happiness (contentment with self?) seems to come with age. It happens that you don't worry so much what others think which is freeing.

[seizuresalad]

I don't know if it's something in the air, or the water - but again you have described something I seem to be going through myself. Or maybe it's the age - I'm turning 38 very soon. I am still a mystery to myself, but not such a painful one as in my 20's, I am much more gentle with myself these days.

Happiness - little, contained ginger ale bubbles in your chest that can on occasion foam right up and over. :)

[Jill Smith]

Oy. As a fellow Aries, I am in absolute agreement with you (I have friends who have 2 kids - both born in late March. Their dad recently said to me, "I've figured my kids out - they're YOUR fault!" Parental responsibility through astrological osmosis - an interesting theory).

My mom still laughs over the private schoool admissions officer who, upon interviewing me, said, "Jill is very... forthright."