Also, I can kill you with my brain.

For the past week I have only been able to stay warm sporadically - it confuses me as I have always run hotter than most people.  Really a bad quality in a knitter, but handy in the winter.

Well, I've turned on the heat, I'm wearing (commercial, forgive me) merino and a pair of mitts and I'm about to put my scarf back on.  I'm wearing SOCKS, which is, I assure you, unusual.  Cotton ones, as that's what I have.  But still.
I can feel the heat from the vent on my legs, but it doesn't seem to reach the inside of me and I've been like this for days.  I'm considering long johns.

Human physiology is a mystery. 

I read Complications this week, which wasn't bad.  Of the several medical insider books I've read this one went less for excess and drama and more for a personal discussion of the problem of balancing human frailty and the need to learn against the need to treat effectively, and admits the educated guessing game that medicine can be.  Every doc I've ever known socially is pretty upfront about that side of the profession - it is only the non-practitioner who thinks in terms of 'saving lives', in black and white, of easy answers.  The chapter on understanding pain has stayed with me - we think of pain as such a one-to-one thing - hammer plus thumb equals OW.  But chronic back pain is rising even as we culturally move further from physical work and it seems to be linked to declining job satisfaction, among other things.  It is all in your head is an insult, yes?  Means you can't apply will, that you're hysterical, or weak or somehow morally tenuous.  But the brain IS where we feel.  And what's in there is real, even if it isn't triggered by what we imagine, by the concrete.  Try and realign the way you think about it - go on.  It's a very interesting exercise in identifying your own mental prejudices.

I think I'm going to try to apply this idea to my frozen fingers and next month's menstrual cramps.  I wonder if I can lesson the impact with my mind, think myself warm, think myself unwretched?

If you decide to read this, I warn you that the chapter on nausea was impossible to read without triggering that gut-churning, saliva-pooling precursor feeling.  I had to alternate bits of the chapter on autopsy to keep my stomach in one place.  Which, now that I think about it, is pretty funny.

Reknitting is going well - I have increased the needle size for the ribbing to match the body size.  According to my swatch, this will go a long way toward making the skirt of the sweater look less tight and scant.  I checked Ravelry and the only other version of this knit in Dream in Color pulls in as much as mine did.  I mean, the sweater pulls in anyway, this is the fundamental nature of ribbing, so if you're shapely I think you might want to consider not going down a needle size anyway - for the body anyway - but it seems to especially pull in in this yarn.  Which is extremely springy. 
The swatch seems to have ever so subtly darkened after being washed, which I find odd, but attractive.  I washed the ripped out skein last night (I do love the smell of wet wool) and I am looking forward to seeing if that's true of it as well. 

When I decide about increasing, I'll let you know.   

Making some tea.  Then work.

Comments

[Susanne]

perhaps Reynauds Disease ? You might want to check it out. Knit socks and mittens woman!!

[lanea]

Not running a mild fever, are you? I'm just wondering, since it's a change in the usual for you. When I'm unusually cold, I'm either getting sick or being far too still--my circulation is only so good.

I'm so glad to come across medicos who see connections between happiness and health, and between movement and pain. I wish it were more common.

[Jocelyn]

Constantly feeling cold is no fun, although it is an excuse to break out the hand knits! (This is probably not what you want to hear.) That book sounds very interesting. Having gone through two years of chronic pain (ruptured disc, lots of radiculopathy) and then surgery, I think that it's worth keeping in mind that the brain reacts to more than just neural messages from other parts of the body. I wonder why Western medicine is so slow to catch on to this (actually I don't -- thanks Descartes -- but I wish they would anyway)?

[gwynivar]

Cassie makes an EXCELLENT point there. You COULD knit some socks. Hey, and there's no forgetting your ass on those - and the knitting is relatively painless (read=no brainer)...

[Laurie]

Peripheral nervous system, in charge of regulating blood vessel size in skin and underlying tissues, less sensitive, slower as we stack on the years. Estrogen also not a helper in this either. TMI?

[Cassandra]

Perfect time of year to make some chilly. Make it spicy and it'll help with your chilly thing too (groan with me now).

[Susan L]

Glad I came across your blog. I'm planning on knitting Mr Greenjeans in Dream In Color Classy (have it in my stash) sometime after the holidays. So your comments on the needle size & ribbing are greatly appreciated, & I'll definitely keep that in mind - and maybe add some increases, too, as I'm also "ample" (as another poster described herself). I was wondering, though, did you add any short-rows in the bust area? I'm thinking that I might need to do that as well. Thanks!

[Cassie]

Have you ever considered knitting some socks? They're very good for keeping you warm, you know.

[Rebecca]

I haven't had time to post on Ravelry yet, but I have completed my Mr. Greenjeans using Auracania Nature Wool. I wish I had NOT gone down a size for the ribbing, and I was really worried pre-blocking. Once I blocked it, though (fully submerged, wet blocking), the ribbing opened up enough to made it look fine. The blocking made a huge difference in mine, but perhaps it was just the yarn? Anyway, just thought I'd share.

[Amy]

Oh, I feel your coldness pains. Yeah, I'd agree with the others that it could be hypothyroidism, especially if you've got a familial history of it and are tired all the time. I'd suspect it in myself (dad, grandma, cousin...probably more) but I actually had at least some of my thyroid hormones tested when I came in for high blood pressure, and they came up normal. Strangely, my dad is the hottest person I know: he sweats outside when it's about -5 F. Still, you could look into that.

I hate cold, and I am all the time. Brrrrr! I think right now is really bad, because it's that kind of damp cold, where the air is often moist, and the cold just seeps into your bones. That's completely un-medical, but that's my un-expert opinion. There's no way to get around it. More wool. Just make a den out of a pile of wool and hibernate for the winter. Also, some have noted that drinking green tea often (we're talking 4+ cups a day) can increase your temperature. The scientific reason is debatable, and the evidence scant. BUT, in keeping with my theory about damp cold in your bones, you can counteract this by putting a damp HOT in your body. At least you're delivering the heat pretty centrally so that it must travel much further to escape from your body. If you do this while wearing a goose down vest, you're decently toasty for awhile.

Many people in our class have read Complications, but I haven't touched it yet. I'll have to read it during Thanksgiving. Thanks for the recommendation!

[Michelle]

Yup, easily in my top five favorite Whedon lines. It's on par with "the angels have the phone box," even. Ooh, Whedon and Moffat.

...

I'll be in my bunk.

[BigAlice]

I think that the brain/pain/physiology link is more to the subconscious part and less to the conscious. Definitely I think there are connections (something's gotta interpret those nerve messages. Why can't it go both ways?), just maybe not as direct as I'd like. There was an interesting study lately on how a proper night's sleep is as effective for chronic pain sufferers as was a dose of prescription-strength painkillers.

I'm one that runs chronically cold (despite all the extra body fat. And yes, all those thyroid tests always turn up normal levels). However, I find that my internal temps are sensitive to my diet and exercise (the latter more than the former). Morning cardio keeps me warm for hours. Perhaps your body is still be in toxin-flushing mode.

In any case, some unasked-for advice: when I'm stuck with freezing fingers at work, (like for most of the winter) I run hot water over the insides of my wrists for a whole minute. At home, I prefer a hot bath. It works better and faster for my fingers than any combo of mittens, sweaters, hats, and turning up the heat.

[Barbara]

come on down to Arizona - we are still have record heat - it was 92 degrees F here yesterday.

I am always way too warm - I keep my AC down to under 75 all year long.

I only get to wear my warm clothes at SOAR and other trips to the colder spots.

[Jean S]

I immediately thought, "how's the thyroid?" That I-can't-get-warm-no-matter-what-I-do is one subtle sign.

[Mel]

I loved reading both 'Complications ' and 'Better' (would be happy to loan you the latter if you don't already have it waiting in the wings). From my perspective, I just wish that everyone would read it - my fellow health professionals so they could learn to let go of the 'I know all' mentality, and the general public so they can better understand what we're up against in trying to treat patients. There quite often *isn't* a pill or a shot that's going to fix everything.

[Marin]

I run hot myself, but if I do catch a chill, it's hellaciously hard to shake. I can pile on sweaters and comforters and big, fuzzy socks and still sit, shivering.

As a side note, I'm not cold now, but I came into my office (the warmest on the floor -- go figure) to find someone had upped the thermostat to 82 degrees.

If you can outwit your mentrual cramps, I really want to hear about it.

I'm following your adventures with Mr. Greenjeans (an excellent title for the thinking woman's pornography) eagerly -- I just ordered Miss Priss with my LYS owner and she and I and whomever else is a joiner are going to KAL. I told her about your issues with the ribbing and, as owners of asses, we are following your progress with a scientific eye.

Sheesh. A long letter. So have a good day, wish you were here, how's the weather where you are...

XOXO

[Allyson]

Cold hands, warm heart. Try eating spicy food.

[Anne]

I'm perpetually hot! My officemates were mad all summer because I sat next to the thermostat and kept it comfortable for me (which according to the setting was 75 degrees), and they wore sweaters. Now they have their heaters on and I'm pulling my hair up to keep cool.

[Melanie]

(Love the title. Miss the show. Still bitter that it was cancelled.)

[Lizbon]

Easily my favorite Whedon line. Okay, it's in my top ten. ("A swhat?") I, too, have been having trouble getting warm, but I put it down to doing stupid things like running my ass off in Central Park when it's cold out and then having to trek back home all sweaty and damp. Yes, I wear wicking fabrics. Yes, I overdress for the run and then have to unpeel and tie excess layers around me willy-nilly. There seems to be no remedy. Perhaps your (and my) percentage of body-fat has recently decreased and you are feeling the lack... (Let's say it's that, shall we? It's such a nice fantasy)

[Jessica]

Perhaps the coldness is a side effect of your newfound healthful ways? You don't have to burn off all those chemicals now. ;) Looking forward to seeing your reknit.

[Melanie]

I discovered that I was anemic and once I started taking supplemental iron, lo! the coldness went away. And I typically wasn't one of those people who have to snatch a cardigan in summer lest they freeze, either.

[Elizabeth]

Not to go all diagnose-y on you, but if you keep having problems with being cold, you might look up the other symptoms of hypothyroidism and see if you have any of them (nasty cramps is another one). My hands/feet being constantly cold (even in summer) is a sign that my meds for the hypothyroidism need adjusting.

[Heidi]

The title--best line ever. It's quoted often Chez Absinthe.

[Faren]

I giggled when I saw the title, it was enough to bring me out of lurkdom too! I have been cold lately too, and it is only 68 degrees in here, I keep telling myself that isn't cold. So far, I'm not listening.