Snowball, meet Hell.

There are lines, people.  Lines we cannot cross. 

The house is hers to play in.  I have said not one word about the one million little claw marks on the floors and occationally the furniture, I wasn't mad when she smashed a vase I had full of peacock feathers (foolishness on my part, I admit), I clean up the dead mice with words of praise, she can sleep on any part of me that pleases her and she is perfectly welcome to place herself between me and any person who enters the house whom she feels is a threat to her comfort.  Which she completely does.  The more I like them - even if she clearly likes them herself - the more carefully she keeps an eye on them.  Times about 11 for anyone I might have a romantic interest in.  Transparent little beast.

These are the rules: 
The cat shall not put her little feet on food prep surfaces.
The cat shall not sit or stand on the keyboard (this one is a challenge).
The cat shall not molest or ingest the wool (this one too).   

And in this case, the crochet thingy is not for her.  It's for my friend J.  So there.  Anyway, its almost done - 3 sides of single crochet and you can see it.  If I can figure out how to photograph something so vast.

I will have about two-three balls left over - it was just getting too freaking huge.  So she might get a little mat in the same stitch pattern.   If she pays plays her cards right. 

I dunno though, I bought her a sheepskin last year.  Romeldale.  And she hardly goes near it any more. Ungrateful wretch.

Comments

[lanea]

Yarrow has a serious romance going with our 4-sheep sheepskin. I think he wants to buy it flowers.

[Sydney]

We have the same rules and our cat gives them about the same amount of attention. Start using the sheepskin yourself and see if it's more appealing then.

[Carol]

My house rules are pretty much the same as yours. and probably get ignored in much the same way...

[Jen]

So ours isn't the only cat with an alpaca fetish? Well that's a relief. I just finished a cardigan in 50% alpaca and I continually had to do battle with an 8 pound tabby for it. Maybe we should start a support group for them? :) Even cashmere doesn't get her attention.

[Beth S.]

It's official, I think. You just crocheted the world's biggest cat mat.

Better to accept it now, huh? ;-)

[Jocelyn]

My current knitting projects are always the best place to sleep. I find this oddly flattering, which probably says something bad about me...

[Gina]

Face it, you could make her something similar from the remnant yarn, and she's not going to smother it like she does this. She knows it's for someone else.

[Diane]

My daughter's two cats love anything wool (as long as it's washed, neither is fond of raw wool)...sheepskin, fiber, yarn, finished knits. They snuggle in it wherever and whenever they can.

[Helen]

My first computer cabinet had a 'cat' sized space beside the monitor, which my cat decided was for her. It was a good compromise. I didn't have the keyboard attention getting problem and the cat figured I was looking at her the whole time, or close enough that she was happy too.
As to cat 'toys' and other items. Don't you know...'free' is always better than the expensive one you purchase which is ignored and 'offlimits' is always better than the 'labor-intensive made specially for you.'

[Spinning Fishwife]

The cat will make you suffer for this, trust me.....

[Jessica]

LOL! Well at least you know where to draw the line (the food prep one is a big one for me too). :)

P.S. I really need to get you back your HP book asap. I'm moving!

[anj]

9 times outta 10 Lehnen wins. But if this is a gift for a friend.. well then that is the 10th time.

[Melanie]

Carmine just rotates among his (many) favorite spots. After ignoring his cat tree for months, for example, he's been practically living in it for the last three weeks.

Cats are just naturally contrary. Good thing they're cute, really.

[Laurie]

Rules? Ha.

[Tiny Tyrant]

She's gorgeous - the cat ;-)

Looks like your friend J will be getting a cat with the present at well because it sure doesn't look like she's giving it up any time soon.

I have one cat that I use to figure out if one of my quilts is OKAY. If he won't set foot on it when I have it on the floor to photograph it, it doesn't stay in my house.

[Lizbon]

I do love to hear tales of other people's Cat Wars. Makes me feel like less of a grouch about my own.

[Michelle]

I am on the couch. On one side of me is a pile of fiber in various stages of project-ness: two sweater pieces, a crochet start of a blanket, a few balls of Koigu that you may choose to believe I carry around with me. On the other side of me, nothing. Enter Scout. Guess where he sits.

[Marin]

I'm beginning to believe cats have an affinity for alpaca. There must be something to the scent of alpaca yarn that attracts them. My own personal cat got up on his hind legs and snuffled around in a pile of Araucania Limari I just got out last night -- the last time I saw him that interested in something over his head, it was ham. He doesn't seem to have enormous olfactory interest in anything else. Something to keep an eye on -- we have the beginnings of a scientific study here.

[regina]

Sofie the cat still kneads her sheepskin all the time. The kids refer to it as "Sofie's Mommy."

[Kellee]

Dude. My cats? Luuuuurve their sheepskins. Luuuurve them. Even the $20 Ikea sheepskin. When she feels like handing down the epitome of kitty luxury, I know two extraordinarily down-on-their-luck cats (who would also tell you that they live in the very worst house ever where no one ever loves them or pets them or feeds them, but they're lyin' brats.) who would give it a new home.

I also love Blizzard, but finally gave mine away because the hat I made myself out of it was so hot it made my toes sweat and I couldn't face the thought of anything else made from something so warm on my body, not even in the dead of winter.

[seizuresalad]

Oh dear, cats are like that, aren't they? During university I had a cat who had to sit on a piece or pieces of paper, usually the one I was using. I often handed assignments in with cat hair clumps still clinging to them.

[Jennifer]

hmmm. My dog prefers alpaca yarn to anything else, too. At least they have good taste, heh?

Jen

[k]

Welcome to Kittyland.
Put the sheepskin on the keyboard?

[Tina]

So my wanting to buy a sheepskin for my cats isn't all that odd?! I was wondering if it would get tossed aside though. The advice to hide it and bring it out after some time seems like a good one.

BTW your writing's wonderful - humorous, thought-full and thought-provoking. A great read, thanks!

[Tanya]

It's just like cats and people with allergies - whatever they shouldn't want or do, they will want or do. :) Our boy kitty used to think the mock sheepskin bed was fine... until he discovered the ultimate cat bed. You know, the one by Select Comfort that just happens ever so handily placed near a window for maximum viewing pleasure by the kitty. I had to fight him for my pillow the other day when I had been up in the middle of the night with a sick bunny and wanted to take a nap in the middle of the day to make up for lost sleep.