one man's meat. so to speak.

So I am reading twitter this morning.  Instead of working, tra la.

And there is a writer I much admire and follow.  He puts up links to many things, most of which I have found worth a click through, and this morning he linked to a site full of excellent and erotic photos.

Hey, I like excellent.  I like erotic.  Let's go see.

Um.  Leaving aside ALL discussions of pornography and women's issues - I did after all, freely go look at something labeled erotic - please to explain these.  Because I would describe these as being as erotic as an American Apparel ad, and as interesting.  They are naked, but not nude.  There is no charge to the provocation.  They are full of full-lipped, ennui-drenched youth.  They drench me with nothing more than bewilderment.

So this idea of how men and women see sensuality interests me and I want so badly to tweet back, can you explain the eroticism here?  Because there is a very interesting conversation to be had. 

But I don't know this person. 

But he published this opinion. 

But it seems so intrusive to say - really, dude?

And in the end what I am really saying is "how can you be such an original and wonderful writer and think this is arousing?"  

Which is none of my business in the biggest way possible.  The heart wants what the heart wants and as long as all relevant laws are respected, that's between you and you and NOBODY else, I beleive that is true right down to the tiniest corner of my soul.

But it's killing me not to ask.  Killing me.

What would you do? 

(If you were the sort of person to want to engage a stranger in a critical discussion of the nature of eroticism based on a random internet link) 

(Oh, look, I AM crazy)

Comments

[Lene]

I'd ask. One of the great benefits of the Internet is you can have conversations with complete strangers that you'd never have face-to-face.

And um? If we're talking erotic, I'm not sure it's the heart that's doing the wanting... ;)

[Thalia]

I'd inquire after how the images are erotic - he posted publicly, and I'd want to know what was up.

Also, "(t)hey drench me with nothing more than bewilderment" may be one of the best statements I've heard this week. I plan to tell people I am drenched in bewilderment. We'll see how that goes.

[SJ]

tra la la. How are you, wonderful Juno?

[Carol Cousins-Tyler]

So, when are you going to post again? It's been two freaking months! I miss you.

[Karen VR]

I would ask too. Maybe he labeled it as erotic to see if he would spark conversation along that lines. Having said that, be sure you want to go there and have that discussion with this stranger whose writing you have admired from afar. You may lose something you didn't really realize you had, but it seems you have some sort of question about his frame of reference and it will probably stand in your way of enjoying future writing if you don't. whew!

[Laurie]

I'd ask.

[Jennie]

So... did you ask?

[Megan]

This is unrelated to your post at hand, but I felt like leaving it here because it was most recent. I read your blog for a long time, then for some reason stopped, and recently re-discovered it. I just wanted to say thank you for your thoughts, they are provocative and inspiring.

[annie]

if you don't ask, he'll never know you. and that would be his loss.

[Gretch]

I guess I'd say don't ask if the answer is going to damage your reading relationship...which is to say the thing is in your head, probably, not his. If he's as good a writer as you say, and you are no slouch in that arena, maybe it's just definitional - couldn't find the word sensual or some other synonym at just that moment, and typed too fast. Or not. Or maybe it had just been awhile. In the end, I guess you have to weigh what you know (you like his head, otherwise) with what you risk knowing more. Your choice to make! Keep us posted...and yeah, it's tempting to ask for the link. I do sensitive... :)

[Emily]

If he had posted pictures of sunsets (or something similar), and claimed that they were good, but you disagreed, you would not hesitate to start a conversation about it. The real question is what exactly the difference is.

[Lee Ann]

Yeah, where's the link?

Ask. There's no need to torture yourself by keeping silent. :-)

[donna lee]

I'd ask as long as there's no way for him to find me. I'm not real familiar with the identifiers on twitter so I'm not sure how easy it is to find someone based on their twits,er, tweets.

[Jocelyn]

I agree that asking a question is legit, given where he posted it. As for whether I would, I'm not sure. Sometimes I think that there are things that I maybe don't want to know about the subbasements of other people's minds. On the other hand (I've got lots of hands and can keep this up all day), there's the question of what you might end up assuming about him and how it'll affect your reading of his writing in the future, in which case maybe asking is the right thing to do. If you do end up asking, I'd be curious to hear how he responds both to the question, and to the fact of your asking in the first place.

[Laura]

Ask! As everyone said, he put it out there, and it's on twitter, so it's meant to spark conversation imo. If you don't want to tweet back, then DM him. But pursue the thought, because I bet you'll have an interesting conversation from it. :)

[lizbon]

I would tweet back. Of course I would. It's not his private thoughts in his living room. He put it out there in public. Therefore there's an assumption that he's open to commentary - and it's not like you're going to say something simple like, dude, you're an ass. You'll be interesting, you'll be after real dialogue. Why are you even hesitating?

[Imbrium]

I think one SHOULD ask - he knows that Twitter is public, and has to expect the public to respond to him. That being said, I probably WOULDN'T ask, because I a huge, shy wussie and have a hard time replying to people I actually KNOW. :)

And on the topic of men and women and what each finds erotic...a recent post at Sociological Images (http://contexts.org/socimages/2009/08/25/lesbians-are-hot-if-theyre-hot/) made some interesting points: "What is disgusting in the case of real lesbians in the real world seems to be the women’s autonomy; what is attractive in the case of commercialised, fictionalised documentary porn is the evidence of reduced autonomy, and the dissonance between what the porn consumer assumes are the real wishes of the model, and the reaction she is being bribed or forced to perform."

[Lynn in Tucson]

tee-hee. I so love your kind of crazy!

Have a great weekend!

[Leah]

Your question reminded me of reading a women's memories of working for an erotic magazine. All the women she found erotic were not put in the magazine; only women which she felt appeared submissive with no character were put in. Curious. It makes me think erotic is linked to power far more than we would like to believe.

[claudia]

All this, with no link?

;-)

[Beth]

Definitely ask. If he put it on Twitter, then it's fair game for discussion. And the discussion could be fascinating and revelatory. It's not rude or intrusive; it's asking for clarification and discussion, and yeah, it's a personal thing but it's also political and interesting.

[anonymous fan]

Ask!! It might get him thinking, if nothing else.

[S.Kate]

I don't do the twitter thing, but isn't it a bit like fishing? Toss a thought or topic out there and see who notices/reads/bites? I'd think if he was willing to put it out there he must be willing to entertain a return comment. Worst case you'll be ignored. Best case he starts a conversation. Give it a shot. To my mind if something should be private it wouldn't be publicly twittered about.

[JoVE]

Well, the subtle way would be to put an actual link to his twitter page, if not the actual tweet, in this here post. If the guy checks his Google analytics or whatever, he might click through and actually respond to your rather well put questions right here in the comments of this here blog.

Or tweet your blog post with an @ link to his name somewhere in it (at the beginning if you only want him to see it; in the middle if you want others to see it in general and him to find it in his @ replies). That is very likely to get a click through to this post at least.

Or @ reply his original tweet and ask.

Of course, I'd favour number 2 because then we could all see this discussion right here....

[evalyn]

If you are that sort of person, ask your questions. I think that's part of what twitter-land is about - private/public conversations.