It's raining unexpectedly, brutally, from an grey summer sky, which I like, despite the fact that my rain jacket is in the trunk instead of the office.
I've always loved rain, except during the vitamin deficiency years when I was too depressed to cope with it.
I just read a short piece on old friendship and at the end it said So-and-so is a writer in Glasgow and I got this sharp mental cramp that was in my ribs as well as my brain. That's my life. The one I would have if I were less duty driven and less of a coward and you know, wrote consistently instead of avoiding it out of fear and uncertainty.
It might be time to do something about that. She said for the 100oth time.
I want to do something about that. Which, might be a first time.
*you should know that this is not a statment of despair or underconfidence. Except for the remains of a miserable hacking cold, I feel pretty awesome these days. I say this to forstall the encouragers and scolders who want me to Understand My Own Value or similar.
It's more of a diary note. I felt this way on this day and want to remember it.
I think I understand what you are saying. And ditto what Sara says: I find your writing delightful.
I truley feel my writing life will begin next years, when at the age of 62, I will retire. I feel on the verge, like my real life is about to begin. I will end the lifelong attempt to please everyone (including myself) that expected something of me. I've also been a coward and duty driven. I don't regret it, I'm just done with it.
Congratulations on better health. There's nothing like it. I hope you find your transistion point.
Posted by: Evalyn | 07 July 2011 at 03:53 PM
LOVE the codicil!
Posted by: Marji | 07 July 2011 at 03:44 PM
I look forward to you doing something about that. B/c the reading of your writing is always worth it IMO.
Says the one not currently writing much more than 142 character staid lines. Sara
Posted by: Sara | 07 July 2011 at 03:07 AM